Saturday, October 17, 2009
#76 - Steve Jobs Riseth Again
It was the decade when...
We worshiped at the altar of Steve.
And it came to pass that in the year of our lord one-thousand nine hundred and fifty five, a child would be borne in the city of Saint Francis. And he would bring unto the world untold riches. And he too would make untold riches. And from his lowly state he would rise to sit on a throne of cash, and be worshipped by the multitudes of nerds.
And, lo, his name was Steve. And he was good. And he would bring to man much fruit. And his company would be synonymous with home computing for many years.
And it came to pass that Jobs found such success that neither he nor his partner St. Woz could control their empire. And so, Jobs proclaimed another as his king but he was a deceiver. And the Deceiver wore the crown of fruit.
Now, the deceiver knew no allegiance to Steve. He hath doubted his maker. And so he said, "thou hast given me power over thee Steve. And I shall smite you with it." And the Deceiver banished Steve from his own kingdom.
And it came to pass that Steve, banished from his own kingdom, wondered the desert for half a score. Whilst abroad he ganeth in strength whilst his old kingdom fell feeble and meek. It was so that Satan prospered whilst Steve wondered. And Satan put forth a new program called Windows. Steve saw that all he had made was stolen by the evil one and this made him mad.
And it came to pass that after ten winters the gates would once again open to Steve. And he would be greeted by the multitude, and there would be much rejoicing. And in the year of two-thousand and aught he would be again crowned to lead his kingdom of fruit. For 10 years hence Steve would reign on high, wielding the power of the letter "I." And he would giveth to the masses much music. And he would build temples for believers to pray in. And he would preach before the techno-pharisees and dot.com moneylenders and offer to the crowd new idols to worship. And these sermons would be called "launch events." And there was much rejoicing.
In Seattle there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Rejoice! For Steve hath returned. And all was right with the world. And may we all eat his fruit for years to come. Amen.
You AUGHT to remember...